A Very Affectionate Night
by Lizelda
Summary: Dirk X Caliborn inspired by this:


Caliborn walked around the Land of Tombs and Krypton stoping every now and then to glare at something that moved in a way he didn't like, made a sound he didn't like, or looked at him in a way he didn't like.  
"HOW THE FuCK DID I GET HERE."  
Caliborn shouted with confused rage.  
There is no explanation as to how our little green friend got to this land nor dose he really give any fucks, so for now just shut the fuck up and don't ask any questions.  
Anyway, Caliborn kept walking around getting even more and more annoyed with his surroundings until he noticed something from the corner of his eye.  
For some reason Caliborn did not glare at it or immediately shoot at it like he did with just about every thing he saw in this mysterious land, instead Caliborn approached the beautiful puppet and began to stroke its cheek.  
"Hey, get your hands off my Cal!"  
The puppet was suddenly taken from where it sat by a guy with triangle shades and beautiful blond hair that only a god of gods could make look so cool.  
Caliborn recognized the guy as Dirk Strider, the one human he could put up with and came to when ever he wanted porn. Ahh Dirk, your such a wonderful porn provider.  
Callborn realized he had a slight red blush and was smiling. He looked up at the Dirk human who had an odd look on his face.  
"DIRK YOu WILL GIVE ME THAT PRECIOuS CAL PuPPET NOW. OR I WILL KILL YOu."  
"Hell no. This is my 'Lil Call so fuck off green skull guy. And, how do you know my name?"  
"IT IS I. uNDIYINGuBRIGE! AND YOu WILL FuCKING HAND OVER THAT *BEAuTIFuL* PuPPET RIGHT NOW YOu PATHETIC SHIT."  
"You mean your that guy that had me draw all that fucked up shit one time?"  
Caliborn felt his face turn red from Dirk bringing up that moment. Dirk laughed and said,  
"Instead of me giving you Cal, why don't you follow me back to my place so I can draw you some more "porn""  
After thinking about it for a little Callborn was all,  
"ALRIGHT. FuCK IT. WE WILL GO BACK TO YOuR PLACE AND YOu WILL DRAW ME SOME *FILTHY* PICTuRS."  
After a few minuets they made it into Dirks home. Every now and then 'Lil Cal would give Cailborn some looks that said "please hold my hand". Caliborn was able to resist the urge for now... He WILL get the puppet today no mater what it takes, mabey...  
In the house Dirk placed 'Lil Cal down, but instead of going to his tablet, Dirk grabbed Callborns hand softly.  
"D-DIRK HuMAN. WHAT THE FuCK DO YOu THINK YOu ARE FuCKIG DOING?" Callborns face was now completely covered in red.  
Dirk kneeled down taking Caliborns other hand with his empty one and stared into his eyes with so much longing and passion.  
"uu I've been wanting to tell you this ever sense that day you had me draw your weird porn, and when I saw you blushing like an anime girl today, I knew you felt the same way. Caliborn," Dirk reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold ring, "I love you. Will you marry me?"  
Caliborn stood in shock. By now he was pretty sure there was blood dripping out his nose. He looked at the human in front of him and realized that all the feelings he had for Dirk... Where flushed. More red then his face and blood color.  
"I... YES. DIRK. I-I WILL HuMAN MARRY YOu."  
After taking the ring and putting it on his green finger, Caliborn had a sudden desire to be affectionate with his new husband. He was thinking about touching his hair, and holding his hand, and even... Oh my... Hugging the Dirk human.  
Caliborn couldn't take it any more. He grabbed his lovers hand and began to make him stroke his skull head with the other.  
"YEAH THAT'S RIGHT YOu FuCKING PIG. YOu LIKE STROKING MY HAIR DON'T YOu?"  
"Sure do"  
"AND I BET YOu LIKE HOW IM *TENDERLY* HOLDING YOUR HAND. LIKE THE SLuT YOu ARE."  
"Yup. I was even thinking about hugging you"  
"OOOOH YOu FILTHY WHORE."  
And with that Dirk embraced the what he thinks is hormone crazy Caliborn in the biggest, most loving and affectionate hug he has ever given anyone before.  
"GOD YOu DISGuSTING LITTLE WHORE." Caliborn hugged him back feeling so unbelievably dirty. Everything was just so affectionate.  
Dirk leaned in and kissed Caliborn who now had blood gushing out his nose like a fucking volcano. God he was a whore. He was the most fucking slutty whore of all the slutty whores in the universe. LORD of the filthy slutty whores.  
Dirk moved away from Caliborns bleeding red face and grabbed a bunch of tissues for Caliborn to clean his face with.  
"Wow you are really dirty right now."  
"YES. CALL ME A DIRTY SLuT! CALL ME A FILTHY SLuTTY WHORE MY *LOOVE*"  
"Uhh, your the biggest skank I have ever seen you dirty slut, and a filthy slutty whore"  
"OOOOH YES. OOOH GOD YES. I AM A SKANKY WHORE-"  
He was interrupted by Dirks passionate embrace and he kissed him once again. Caliborn began to softly stroke Dirks godly hair and inhaled its sent. It was a beautiful combination of the orange soda he drank a lot and cool kid. A sent that only Caliborn would ever smell.  
After the long kiss, Caliborn was exhausted with all the loving hugs and kisses he had received from Dirk and he decided to spent the night at his house. They spent the rest of the night cuddling and watching Dirks favorite animes together, enjoying each others company.  
"I LOVE YOu DIRK"  
"I love you too little green guy"  
Caliborn smiled and fell asleep on dirks chest.


End file.
